Solitude, but not Lonely

Over the last couple of years, my life has shifted. I am a hustle and bustle type of person. I am a planner, organizer, and overall worker. Then, a number of things happened to force me to reevaluate my life and how it impacts the people closest to me (mostly my husband and kids). I walked away. Literally. There were two things I kept: my job and my family.

Did I REALLY kick everything and everyone to the curb? NO. I was critically more selective with how I spent my time and with whom. The journey forced me into solitude before the world was forced into it. It allowed me to hear those voices inside of me: voices of ancestors, spirit guides, and God. It allowed for clarity. It allowed the stress level to bottom out. It allowed me to shut the f*ck up and listen. It allowed me to learn more about about my ancestors. It opened me up to see the TRUTH. Sometimes the solitude was quiet. Sometimes it was filled with vivid, symbolic dreams. Sometimes it was filled with chaos.

Now as I look back, I was never lonely. I had my ride or die chicks with me along the way. We got a dog...who always has me in earshot distance. Although my calendar was clean, my schedule was full. Full of activities that did not have a time or date stamp attached to it. It was liberating.

The solitude has had many perks. It has kept my weight down since I no longer have plans that includes appetizers and cocktails. My bedtime is consistent. After the kids go to bed, the dog and I go to bed. When the dog wakes up in the wee hours in the morning, we go out and observe the twilight. It frees up time to meditate, be creative, and to simply think.

I realized that we run so much on automatic. It becomes really easy to believe everything you see and hear. You do not make the time to really observe and process information. In a blink of an eye, time has flown past and you wonder where did it all go and how did it all change. You reach the finish line and do not remember the journey that got you there.

I appreciate my solitude. I still have it in the early mornings when everything is still and quiet. When I am focused, I can get a lot done within those 2 or 3 hours. As the house wakes up so does the world around me. The real work begins.